Melissa’s mother accused me of having no classroom control, though she’d never observed me teaching. I was a young English teacher in a room with a vaulted ceiling and fabulous acoustics. By the end of the first six-week grading period, Melissa, a freshman, had been present thirteen days. On the days she attended, several involved group work. My students’ group discussions became lively as their words bounced off the high ceiling. Melissa refused to work with a group. Her mother’s complaint was the first to come my way as a young teacher. According to her, my loud classroom was why her daughter was failing my class, not her absences or missing assignments. Melissa soon left our school, never having actually participated in a group or made any friends.

Outgoing Jeremiah came to us as a junior halfway through the year and made friends immediately. That semester, his English teacher was using the Socratic method to teach: Students completed the assigned reading and took notes as homework. The next day they had an active discussion about the reading material. Jeremiah thrived with that method. He was able to pass the class despite several missing written assignments. By using audio books and participating in the discussions, Jeremiah hid his illiteracy until he neglected to turn in his final essay exam. The teacher found it in the trash. It just contained a few scrawled, poorly spelled words as though a first grader had made the attempt.

Kevin and Mark were twins entering the sixth grade. Both were very friendly and outgoing, popular with their classmates. Kevin naturally excelled in school, but Mark struggled with reading and writing. This caused him to feel anxious and to believe that he just wasn’t smart. Teachers noticed in classroom discussions that he was clearly quite bright and articulate. An evaluation in seventh grade revealed a learning disability. By high school, he had accepted his learning disability as something to deal with, not an indicator of his intelligence. Now that he understood why reading and writing were harder for him, he gained confidence. He learned how to use technology as an accommodation and how to advocate for himself. These skills accompanied him to college.

What did all these kids have in common? They were home schooled up to that year when they first came to the private school where I taught (names have been changed). One thing they didn’t have in common was their level of preparedness both for academics and for relating to peers.

How can parents make sure their kids are prepared to leave their homeschooling environment when the time comes? After nearly thirty years of teaching in a private school, I’ve taught dozens of formerly home schooled kids. Along the way, I’ve gleaned a few nuggets of wisdom to pass on to parents.

My Wish List of Academic Skills for Home Schooled Students

Taking Notes

Taking notes is an integral part of high school and college with lecture one of many ways of conveying knowledge. While home schooling, prepare regular “lecture” times when teaching a concept (or show an educational video) while your child takes notes. Use a power point, white board, or other visual aids to connect the auditory information to written information. At first provide your child with a template with blanks to fill in as you teach. Move on to an outline to complete. Teach them what to listen for and several ways to organize notes using the templates you provide. Gradually take away the scaffolding so that they are taking notes on blank notebook paper by high school.

Meeting Deadlines

Some homeschooled students have never before had a deadline, so they struggle to turn things in on the due date in traditional school. This affects their grades. Most teachers deduct at least 10% for late work, and more as the days it’s missing accumulate. Turning things in when they are due is an important skill not only for middle and high school, but also in college and the workplace. Find a way to teach this skill through rewards and consequences at home.

Writing

“I didn’t teach my daughter to write after about fourth grade because by then she wrote better than I did.” These were the words of the mother of one of my sophomore students. She was very proud of her daughter’s writing ability. She did write well for a fourth grader, but she was now in tenth grade and showed significant gaps. Please teach your child to write. They need a lot of practice with different styles and purposes: summary, research-based, analysis, informational, persuasive, and creative writing are all important. Parents seem to focus on spelling and reading when teaching language arts but neglect writing and grammar. I get it. It’s hard. No one wants to do it. Not the student. Not the parent. Do it anyway. If you’re not confident in your own grasp of grammar and writing, please partner with someone who is. Ask this person to check your child’s progress and give suggestions for additional instruction. Check out these resources for graphic organizers to help with writing. 

Math

Make sure you understand the skills your child needs at each grade level. Be prepared to offer your help and support at each level, even if that means relearning it. Khan Academy is a great resource for this. If it becomes too difficult, it may be time to seek out a traditional school or an online class with good teacher support. If teaching it yourself, be careful that the curriculum you choose is at grade level. Simplified algebra and geometry programs below grade level exist. If that is what your child needs, he may need to take remedial classes when he enters traditional school. He may also need remedial math classes in college.

Organization

Get your child a binder with dividers for each subject and a 3-hole punch. Teach your child how to keep it organized. Have a designated place in your home for turning in assignments. Have her write down assignments in a planner. Teach her to use it to set goals and manage her time. 

What about Learning Disabilities?

Something I’ve observed with homeschooled students is that parents often don’t recognize learning disabilities because they have no point of comparison. They see their child is gaining reading skills, for example, so they think their child is on track. Although their child is learning, it may not be at the same rate as same-age peers. Know the standards and evaluate your child as objectively as possible. Be willing to seek help if you have concerns. Your public school may be willing to evaluate your child at no extra cost beyond the taxes you’ve already paid. If an evaluation indicates a learning or other disability, ask the case manager for ways to help and accommodate. Consider using a traditional school’s special education program, even if it is just for reading, writing, and math instruction.

Fears Associated with Seeking an Evaluation

I have encountered parents who are concerned about getting “the government”(the public school district) involved. One parent said she feared the government would take her young child away if they disagreed with her child’s alternative vaccine schedule. I assured her they would not ask about vaccines. 

In most cases, a child will be evaluated with a cognitive test and an achievement test. A comparison of the two indicates the existence (or not) of a learning disability. Child Protective Services will not be involved unless a child reports abuse during the testing process. Sometimes an evaluation may involve a psychologist, in which case a child may be asked about their home life. This evaluation is unlikely to occur unless the parents bring up mental health concerns. Even so, all evaluations require a parent’s consent. 

Another common fear is for their child being “labeled.” Whether it be a learning disability, autism, anxiety, ADHD, or anything else that affects learning, naming it is not going to limit that child. Sometimes the condition itself may come with limitations, but a diagnosis or naming the struggle won’t be the cause.  If anything, an evaluation will create understanding and open doors. It will even mitigate limitations. A student who has been found eligible may receive accommodations in the classroom, for standardized tests, and even in college to help them succeed.

Church Youth Group Isn’t Enough

Most home schooling parents understand the need for their child to learn social skills and provide ample opportunity for that. I’ve still known too many homeschooled students skilled at communicating with adults but who struggle to make same-age friends. In many cases, their socialization was only through church with other kids they’d known for years. Though comfortable in that setting, some developed significant social anxiety about meeting new people their age. A  teenager eating lunch with teachers because she’s afraid to talk to other teens is sad to see. Find additional ways for your child to interact with peers through sports, clubs, and other organizations in your town.

Some fear unhealthy influences from other kids they may encounter in such settings. At some point, most will go out into the world and interact with people with different values and beliefs. Isn’t this best while they still live at home where their family’s values and beliefs surround them? Invest in your relationship with your child so that you are still a voice they want to listen to while allowing them to interact with peers who come from very different homes.

 

Though I taught in a traditional setting, I believe homeschooling is often valid, effective, and sometimes even necessary to meet a child’s unique needs. I write this not to discount homeschooling but to draw on my experience to support it in a way that prepares students for the next step, whatever and whenever that may be. Find more college-readiness advice here. 

If you’re a teacher, what other academic skills are on your wish list? If a home schooling parent, what great ideas can you share about meeting your child’s academic and social needs?